For now, for however long.

Alright. So…I had an introduction all planned for this post and it was funny. Well…it made me laugh but as of Tuesday afternoon, I couldn’t hit erase fast enough. God had an entirely different plan as to how this would go. Ever heard the saying, “if you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans”? In the midst of the laughter, I am overwhelmed with thankfulness. Thankful that His vantage point is so much higher and His ways are so much greater. I am in awe of how good our God is.

“Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His love endures forever.” Psalm 107:1

Our lives are going to be very, very different very, very shortly. You know…up to this point, we have been so prayerful and focused on pursuing God in the preparation to welcome children into our home. The prep: the prayers, the conversations, the devotional, more conversation, talking with those who are also fostering, the training – they were all so important. I’m confident we did everything we possibly could to prepare our home and hearts for whoever God decided to bring into them. But now…it’s go time. We’re about to go from zero children to two. I sit here, writing that fact and I’m so nervous but am brought to tears by how God is choosing to move. I’m blown away at how present He is. It’s like…I knew it before but He keeps giving me new experiences with Him. I’m in awe of You, Lord.

“The LORD your God is in your midst, a Warrior who saves. He will rejoice over you with joy; He will be quiet in His love [making no mention of your past sins], He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.” Zephaniah 3:17, Amplified Bible

I have and will continue to express how honored I am that God is entrusting these babies to our care. In the next breath, I acknowledge how desperately I need Jesus in all of this (I think that’s the best place for me to be…). This past weekend, I definitely wrestled with my doubt, saying – “God…maybe this is why we haven’t gotten pregnant. Are you sure you want me doing this (being a parent)?” Praise Jesus for His presence and the reminders He gave me each time I questioned. He countered my doubt with His Truth. He is so patient with me – Jesus, my source of courage in the face of my fear. I pray that I will be the best I can be but I am fully aware that it will never be enough for them. My love and actions will always fall short. So I’m just choosing to take a huge deep breath, turn my eyes to Jesus, and refocus on our “why”: To live lives that point to Jesus; to love these babies for now, for however long we get to, unreservedly. All of this is up to God, all up to how our Abba, Father sees it good to move. I trust my Father. I trust You, Abba.

“I will rest in the Father’s hands
Leave the rest in the Father’s hands
I will rest in the Father’s hands
Leave the rest in the Father’s hands”
Bigger than I thought – Sean Curran

Lindsey (feel free to replace with your own name) – Quit focusing on and stressing over all the ways you come up short. Choose to boast in all the ways God has available to Him to demonstrate His strength. Don’t focus your energy on trying to be fearless. Be courageous instead. Move ahead in spite of your fear. You are more than a conqueror through Him who loves you. God is with you. God is for you. He goes before you and will never leave you.

That’s the reminder I got while I was playing with this awesome matching game (for parents and kids alike!). By no coincidence, this was the first card I flipped over:

 I’m taking you at Your Word, LORD.
I’m so grateful You’re so faithful.
HALLELUJAH

Here we go. We’re doing this. We’re loving these babies and praying for these parents. God is doing this for us. He is filling every gap and strengthening every weakness. All for our good and all for His glory. Oh, He is so so good and I’m going to rest in that place. I will rest in Jesus.

Be kind, my friends.
Be love.
Be with Jesus.

 

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”
Romans 8:28

“In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will, in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of His glory.”
Ephesians 1:11-12

• For our good & His Glory •

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